it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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