He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
