Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
He kissed a someone with a penis
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
