Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
