just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
