We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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