just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
