I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
