So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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