So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Randomize
