Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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