i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
