The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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