Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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