We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
