he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
