I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
