What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Floor bacon is actually really good
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
