God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
