so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
