Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
