you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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