I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Even the bartender felt bad for me
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize