Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
