i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize