jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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