Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
