During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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