he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
