only if we run a train.
done.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
50% drunk capacity currently
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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