I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We need a shit load of segways right now
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