I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
someone owes me an orgasm
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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