just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
