Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
