I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
