The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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