just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
