so that wasnt chicken after all
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
