I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
