As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
