Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
