: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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