I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
