You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
