A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
3pm strippers are depressing
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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