Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
ttyl tear gas
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
