Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
