i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
