So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
