Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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