Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
