You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
pop tarts are not kleenex
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Randomize
