I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
