im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize
