So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I understand Curling. That high.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize