If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Fuck appropriateness.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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