a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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