you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
you had me at cake vodka
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
