school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
