CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize