gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
