Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
