last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
we're making bets on your personal life
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
