Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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