i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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