So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
