Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
