I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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