hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize