so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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