Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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