Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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