just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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