Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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