somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I just had sex on a roof
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
