i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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