doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
