It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
