remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
