I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
