Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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