How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
You can't motorboat a personality
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
